There is in front of me an arduous ordeal: mastery of the different skill sets required to gain sufficient technical proficieincy, to realise my dreams and tell my stories.
I have to learn digital voice recorder, Fruity Loops sound studio, Move Magic Screenwriter software, on and on.
I am terrible at this. It's all left brain stuff, and I hate that, loathe it. I have a terrifically strong aversion to technical stuff...I hated studying the guitar, and music...I wanted the song! itself.
Now, I see that there must be mastery of technique before there can be expression of artistic voice.
There is so much to learn. My aim is to educate myself to give expression in chosen media; have to master the skill set, there is no other way, for me.
Cannabis will not help, nor alcohol; nicotine would be useful, but is forbidden during the day. Caffeine is ok.
There is a huge shift required now, from Night to Day. I have to study, and prepare myself, and learn how to run these programs, to edit and engineer and save and store and back-up....sigh.
I've spent over a thousand dollars in sofware and technology to accomplish this aim, and it only works for me when I learn to use it.
Left brain, wake up! Wake up!

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I have in front of me, before me, a fifty yr career and a self-assigned full time job; a full artistic meaning for my life that could easily prove be very lucrative, can at least be expected to provide me with a livelihood - but I have to master the technology.
I must be able to at least operate and navigate my own web site, and record and edit and engineer my own freelance audio files, teach myself to write screenplays and produce one by March 1, 2012, create my own songs and soundtracks...I am involved in doing it, but what a shift is called for!
Well...let's get on with it.